Tuesday January 1st,
PARIS

Morning of licks and cuddles with Reynald Dewit. Cuddles bring joy which attracts cuddly men. I love his playfulness. With him to little private room in rue Legendre. Then to noctambulant insomniac Jacques Pfirrmann in rue Saint-Paul. Take-away meal of chakchouka and chips! Then to Le Central. Met sexy Roberto [of whom I have no recollection].

Thursday January 3rd

Breakfast again with Roberto after sexy night. To Gare Saint-Lazare to change ticket. Weather cold. Met Reynald at Les Halles. Lunch at Hare Krishna. In Saint-Eustache church was cruised by sexy, shaven-headed priest. Robi came to flat at 8.30. Went to Piano-Zinc, [rue des Blancs-Manteaux, behind the Centre Pompidou] to meet Aléxandre [Agin, who sang there some evenings and was one of the most homoSENSual lovers I ever had] and by taxi home with him to rue Jean-Maridor. A terrific night of wrestly cuddles, licks, nuzzles and erotic acrobatics. He came three times.

Friday January 4th

Up early. Excellent coffee. Crowded and cramped train from Austerlitz to Toulouse [which serves Caussade, 20 km from where I now (2023) live]. Unpleasant tedium of six hours. Left plastic picnic bag on train to Mazamet, so had nothing to eat. Collected by Michel at station and taken up to his farm. Excellent dinner - with Michel, his wife and son! But I realise that this trip is a mistake. Nor had I expected to be thrust immediately at the family. We retired to his separate establishment, where he showed me a range of 'leather goods' before bed...where not much happened. Although he is sexy (with the obligatory and very fine black beard) he doesn't arouse me much...nor I him. Oh dear. I should have ignored this invitation to travel expensively over half the length of France on a blind date. I should have stayed in Paris for athletic cuddles with Aléxandre. But Michel intrigued me. Unfortunately, he is very much a narcissist who wants an eager sex-slave!

Saturday January 5th

Up at 9. Lovely walk up hill in snow. Very cold for the S of F. Landscape (Montagne Noire) spectacular. Excellent lunch...and dinner. I like the wife and son very much, but, alas! not the overbearing and moody leather-master Michel, despite his lovely hairy body and quite handsome cock. To bed early since I refused to watch distorted TV. No sex, let alone cuddles.

Sunday January 6th

Up at 9.15. Temperature -15°C. Much complaint from Michel because his geraniums overwintering in a stable have been frosted. Lovely lunch and dinner with wife and son, but Michel hostile, not least because of my outrageous opinions. Nevertheless, for some unknown reason I feel quite good.

Monday January 7th

Michel roused me at 6.40. Dumped me (no goodbyes possible to wife and son) at Mazamet station 20 minutes after the train to Toulouse left. Managed (amazingly) to hitch-hike over 100 km through snow to Toulouse. Two lifts, one puncture. Arrived at railway-station just as 11.37 train was leaving. Caught 13.33 to Montpellier, arriving 10 minutes before the TGV left for Paris. Failure of heating on train during 5-hour journey (during the coldest 'snap' for many years), otherwise train very comfortable. Pipes frozen at flat [at no.39, rue Saint-Sauveur, Robert Emery's pied-à-terre which I made great use of over many years]. Turned on heating accumulateur. Went to bed cold and exhausted.

Tuesday January 8th

Up at 12.30. Ice everywhere. Breakfast of croissant and pain-aux-raisins with coffee made entirely of milk because of frozen pipes. Fernand Mich called. Since he speaks Arabic (amongst other languages including Luxembourgeois-Lëtzebuergesch) he very sweetly talked to the Moroccans down below and has arranged for plumbing to be attended to. Wrote postcards, did some shoplifting. Dinner alone Au Rocher de Cancale, anthropologically very interesting. Then to Le Piano-Zinc where Alex pounced on me, and handed me a balloon of quite-good Calvados. Overnight at his place with much extremely licky-kissy-nipply-nuzzly-wrestly-dribbly sex.

Thursday January 10th

A note from Aléxandre who is bursting (and pre-cumming) to see (and feel) me again. How nice! How splendid! I go to the Piano-Zinc in the evening. I guess I am a bit 'undersexed', as I am less enthusiastic in our wrestly revels second night running/coming. I think twice a week, nicely spaced, would suit me better than every night.

Friday January 11th

Water now on in rue St-Sauveur from 8 am to 8 pm. Did some washing of clothes and had a [hip-] bath. Dinner with Robert [owner of flatlet] at the excellent, small La Feuillade in the rue de la Petite Truanderie, one of the few places I can eat vegetarian without saying so. From there to the Piano-Zinc.

Saturday January 12th

Sleepy afternoon. Went to minotaurish Sauna-Continental and prowled. Met sexy, beautifully coffee-coloured Martiniquais Charles with lovely dark balls. Passionate licky sensuality, no squirts from me.

Sunday January 13th

Jacques P. for breakfast. With him to Porte de la Villette [flea-market]. On to Jouy-en-Josas [where Robert, lecturer at the prestigious college nearby, mainly lived in a converted mill-house] with Jacques for a very good dinner, then back to Paris, where I received sexy Fr Gérard Bénéteau at 10 pm. Damp squib, no connection, he being a denim fetishist and a one-night-stander. He brought specially slashed jeans for me to put on. [I don't wear denim.] They were slightly too big for the lithe and slim Irish wolf!

Monday January 14th

Water off again. Had to have urgent shit in plastic bag. Met Fernand in Le Central; with him back to flat. He got a bucket of hot water from the lovely Moroccans. We like each other but there is no erotic attraction. He is a bit of a narcissist like Michel in Mazamet. He speaks Turkish and Kurdish, and sang some Kurdish songs.
[The following year, on my way back from the Metamorphoto show in Berlin where I met the lean, sexy East German wolf Karl-Heinz, I would stay with him in Amsterdam, where he had a wonderful collection of Indian Classical music.]

Tuesday January 15th

The sweet and affectionate Reynald in afternoon. He actually squirted. Like me, he is a Slow-comer. I didn't. Not coming saves energy for enthusiastic sensual appreciation. [For me it's the playing of the game not the scoring of the goal that is important.]

Wednesday January 16th

Aléxandre straight from work to the flat at 18.15. Amazing, life-enhancing, death-denying/defying sex for six hours, punctuated by dinner, Crémant de Loire, Eau-de-vie de Marc d'Alsace, nibbles (and kisses and squirts all over) He loves me to come over his cock and balls. Unlike me, he doesn't need a puff or two of a pipeful of Grass to activate his Kundalini. We have joyously-ludic co-ordination, amazing sensual synchrony. The strange thing is that I don't find his pudgy white body beautiful, and we don't have anything to share conversationally. So it's Pure Sex with whoops and moans and groans and laughter.

Thursday January 17th

We both slept really well. Leisurely breakfast before A. went to work at 10.50 via his flat in the XVth arrondissement. Jacques came round later, then Fernand. With latter to Belleville flat where he made me a genuine and delicious Chinese meal, played Dhrupad and sang. Went to Jacques' in the rue Saint-Paul, and back to the rue Saint-Sauveur via the Piano-Zinc, whose very open, non-ghetto atmosphere I like a lot. Found a very sweet homeless guy in a doorway and brought him home with me via an all-night (underground) supermarket where I bought him what food he would like me to prepare for him. After I fed him, he obviously expected me to 'make advances' and was puzzled when I didn't. He chose to sleep on the floor, and was probably relieved when I didn't join him. (Or was he ?) He was fairly spaced from sniffing something like ether.

Friday January 18th

Pottered about. Robert Emery [proprietor of flatlet] and Jacques P. to dinner. After they left I went again to the Piano-Zinc, where Alex sang (specially) to me, then took me to his flat by taxi (always a luxury). Our times together are wonderful, despite his smoking, his pop-music and the oppressive clutter of his flat. He is a whisky aficionado, with dozens of bottles (including Irish whiskey). He was very disappointed when I told him that I didn't like whisky, especially the peaty stuff, and that my favourite alcohols are Eau-de-vie de Marc (only recently discovered) and good-quality Calvados, which is too expensive for me.

Saturday January 19th

Up at midday after long dreamy cuddles. Left around 2. Went to organ recital at Saint-Merri. It was pretty poor to my ear, so left after 20 minutes. In bed by 11 and slept until 10 am.

Sunday January 20th (Feast of St Sebastian!)

To Puces at Porte de la Villette. Bought a lovely little 'amateur' oil-painting of a wild boar in a forest. Slightly torn, therefore very cheap - but I can repair and touch up. [I still have this little picture on my wall in 2023.] To Fernand's - not there. Back to flat, then to Jacques - who pleaded with me to help him commit suicide. [Neither the first nor the last to do so.] His circus-friend Pascal then appeared, and I fled to Reynald and boyfriend at La Défense, where I dined and stayed overnight. Brief non-squirty cuddles with R. in the morning.

Monday January 21st

The sweet and beautiful [Camerounian] Victor Ndjehoya came for lunch and cuddles. He calls me Cannibal. It's such a pity that he suffers from premature ejaculation, followed by shame or guilt. Still, he managed to squirt beautifully into my beard. (I didn't need to, of course. My reservoir of long squirts is getting low, and I like saving them up.) I wish I could meet more dark-skinned men - any colour from café-au-lait to ebony.

Sexy 'Missionary' (left) and big-nose, loin-licking 'Cannibal'.

Tuesday January 22nd

Pleasant afternoon at Fernand's. Delicious salad with Bourgueil followed by a fruit salad of kiwi, tinned loquats & tinned arbutus. Very good, strong (not erotic) vibe from the gifted and multilingual F.
[His previous lover, Pierre Vautier, was also mine. Ultra-cuddly, subdued Pierre lived in a cité on the rue de Lappe (where I later had my pubic-genital snake-tattoos), and was heavily into Grass and hash, and Fernand's Indian classical music, and good vegetarian cooking. He died mysteriously and suddenly late in 1984, probably by suicide. I had for a while hoped that he would be My Pal, but although I found Pal Material, no Pal materialised. But I kept on seeking.]
Then to P-Z and Alex. Intense erotic, flowing and floaty, almost hallucinogenic commingling.

Wednesday January 23rd

Robert E. called (for lunch) on his way across the Channel via hovercraft to see his hospitalised mother in Orpington. In the evening I venture to the allegedly-extreme cruising-spot below the Gare d'Austerlitz, which was very noir and exciting - Genetesque - in the shadowy gloom among the massive pillars on bare earth which hold the front part of the station up. But nobody of interest. No bloodstained corpse, either.

Thursday January 24th

Caught 11.30 train to London. Pleasant journey, especially the ferry. Lovely dinner (as usual!) chez Dennis [Greenwood, former dancer with the esoteric Rosemary Butcher dance ensemble, and now, in 2023, my longest and oldest living friend. When first he arrived in London, having fled from small-town Ontario, he slept in a large cupboard shared with someone who slept there during the day. We met through Hugh Brody's then-girlfriend (later wife) Miranda, and had Very Bad Sex once, but remained friends ever since.]

LONDON
Friday January 25th

Delightful breakfast with the hospitable Dennis, who later went off to work on a house-decoration job [intricate, involving stencilled dadoes, and 'on the black' – Dennis, like myself and as frugal, living on the small but adequate 'Incapacity Benefit' introduced by Margaret Thatcher: her only contribution to our welfare].

Saturday January 26th

Stole electric clippers in Old Compton Street (shades of Rimbaud and Verlaine...did they cut each other's hair ?). Usual delicious apple pie and cappucino at the Spanish café a few doors down. Met blind Colin off train at Waterloo, and brought him back to St Quintin Avenue by Tube. Very sweet and cuddly and tactile, but hesitant and nervous. He stayed for dinner with Dennis and me, but decided to go back home to Hampshire. Escorted him to the 9.40 pm train. Some men, especially 'less-abled' ones, are made nervous by my tenderness. Russell [Welsh dwarf who would introduced me to Jarre's Oxygène for our flowy erotics, and helped out at The Coleherne leathery-bikerish gay bar which had live trad jazz on Sunday lunchtime] and Pat [Dublin guy who had had cerebral palsy] both expected rough treatment, which I can never provide. Ah, well.

Sunday January 27th

Via London Apprentice [gay bar] to Crouch End and [teddybear] David Price. Erotic mutual head-shave. Jointly prepared for little dinner party, for which many piles of magazines had to be removed from chairs. My leek & potato soup, David's spinachy bake with roast parsnips and peppers, various cheeses. Sancerre, White Crozes-Hermitage. Very pleasant evening. Tired, brief cuddles. Erotic dream involving Peter Burman who had come to dinner!

Monday January 28th

A little shoplifting at Zwemmer's, then met Don [now a ginger-farming environmentalist in NSW] and two Davids at King's Arms. National Portrait Gallery and a sexy visit to Volker at his wine-bar. Back to Ridge Road. Made dinner for David [who worked at a shipping office in South Audley Street]. Early to bed. Languid cuddles.

Tuesday January 29th

Languid day chez David. Though I am very fond of him, he is really too passive (and tired), so the erotic attraction is diminishing.

Wednesday January 30th

David took day off. With him to Tristan & Isolde at Coliseum from 5 pm to 10.45!! Despite much tedium (especially 2nd part of 2nd act and first part of 3rd), not regretted. But would not repeat.

Thursday January 31st

13.30 standby flight to Belfast. Took Mattie's car [Mattie, my mother, was in Cyprus, her favourite holiday destination; my transport was by small motor-bike] and drove [30 miles] home to Loughkeelan [east of Downpatrick, county Down]. Dealt with correspondence. Phone-call in evening from Gérard Bénéteau!!

[...quiet days at rustic home]

NORTHERN IRELAND
Thursday 7th February

To Belfast...Fenderesky gallery and Crescent centre to discuss future shows. A little shoplifting. Collected Girlie [Marcella, Mattie's sister] from her voluntary work at Age Concern, then drove to Magheramorne to [best friend] Tom Matthews and overnight. Nice big coal-fire in his draughty house. High winds.

Friday 8th February

Recorded music from CD to cassette. Drove back to Loughkeelan with [asexual] Tom through snow and wind. Power cut when we got there. To beds with candles and hot-water bottles after dinner.

Saturday 9th February

High winds and snow continue. Ventured out for brief walk, otherwise nice sedentary day by fire. Dinner of leeky-lentilly-carrotty dish + sprouts with Corbières; pear and rum crumble.

Sunday 10th February

Wind still strong, but no snow. To Newtownards [35 miles] to see Jim and Alan [with whom Jim lived until his death from Motor Neurone Disease]. Nice and cosy. Jim in very good form, showed sexy pictures of himself taken by Alan in Paris. Then on to say hello to Girlie at Clonlee Drive and back to Magheramorne.

Monday 11th February

Did more recording, then to Belfast where I cruised curly-headed John in Library Street [sordid toilet] and brought him to Jeff [Dudgeon] and Seán's. Not-very-cuddly but nicely-rough session, then home to Loughkeelan.

My house from behind, in winter, with Isle of Man in distance.
My rent was £20 a month.


My house from the front.

Thursday 14th February

Teddy-bear card from David in London. To Belfast, found Seán [secretary of Northern Ireland Gay Rights Association] having languid cuddles with curly-haired John. Had tea and cake. Collected Girlie from Age Concern, and then Mattie from airport. On arrival at Clonlee Drive she found that she had the wrong suitcase! Overnight there. Excellent dreams.

Friday 15th February

Nice ride home on bike. Sexy letter and poems from André in Cornouailles, Brittany. Repainted Self-portrait as Œdipus.
Snowdrops, Crocus tomasinii and Cream Beauty, Aconites, Snowflakes, Winter Jasmine, Clematis armandii, Rosemary, Hebes, Abutilon and Senecio all in bloom.

Saturday 16th February

Stole paint, turps and brushes in Downpatrick. Worked on a poem. Painted portrait of Frank Ainsworth.

I now realise that this could be a long and possibly boring read,
so the diary will continue with selected entries.

top of page

Wednesday 6th March

Lovely day. To Belfast on motor-bike in afternoon. With Mattie to Scottish Opera's excellent production of The Barber of Seville – after a lovely dinner of leek & tomato tart and delicious guava crumble! Overnight at Clonlee Drive. Girlie is in Madeira!

Thursday 7th March

Did things in garden and greenhouse, then took car into town. Had lovely chat with Jamshid Mirfenderesky at his gallery. Visited Seán. Then collected Peter Burman off airport bus. Took him to [nearby] Crown [bar], and then home to LK. Erotic evening - but we are not 'on the same (ludic) wavelength'

Friday 8th March

Brought Peter (at his insistence) to visit Tom Bevan. Left him there to deliver car back to Mattie, returning on bike. He had bought £38 worth of pots and sculptures. Then back to LK (on bike).

Saturday 9th March

Peter impressed by visit (on bike) to Castleward, then to Strangford, Kilclief castle and Churchtown petroglyphs. Dinner of kale soup, sautéed parsnips, garlic, grilled peppers, mushrooms, potato-bread; baked apples and home-soured cream. Excellent Rioja Berberana Gran Reserva 1966.

Sunday 10th March

Mattie arrived (beautiful day) and we all went to Carlingford via Ballynoe Stone Circle, Goward Dolmen and Ballymacdermot Court Tomb. Returned via Clontygora Court Tomb and Barnmeen Standing Stone. March hares much in evidence. Dinner at LK of crêpes stuffed with rice, figs, onions and spinach, followed by banana crumble.
Peter (like many) very cuddly 'in form, but not in substance'. A bit mechanical and decidedly unplayful, though that might be in reaction to me.

Monday 11th March

Another lovely day. Took Peter to Struell Wells on bike. Mattie came later in car and we went to Downpatrick Cathedral and Inch Abbey. Salady lunch. Mattie left with Peter at 3 pm to take him to airport bus in Belfast.
Sarcococca, erythroniums, chionodoxas, flowering currant and daffodils in bloom.

[The ancient monuments listed above are described on my website.]

Tuesday 19th March

Letter from Gay Men's Press offering to print three of my poems in an anthology. Beautiful day of brilliant sunshine followed by black skies and snow...then brilliant sunshine again. Girlie back from Madeira. Michel Hornung phoned from Lausanne – wants to visit at Easter. Hmmmm.

Thursday 4th April

Went to Killyleagh to look at – and bought – 4-yr. old white Honda 200CD with fairing and panniers. Looks lovely, goes well. Girlie gave me £50 towards the cost (£120).

Sunday 7th April

Jim for breakfast and light soupy lunch. Very convivial. To Belfast on new bike, which I left at Clonlee Drive. Borrowed Metro, picked up Michel off airport bus at Glengall Street bus station. Excellent lasagne for dinner, Ch. Reynon, rhubarb crumble, followed by excellent, excellent cuddle-squirts.

Monday 8th April

Took hairy Michel to Castle Ward, which was Easter-packed. Jeff [Dudgeon] and Seán for Afternoon Tea! More beautiful hairy cuddles.

Tuesday 9th April

To Carlingford with Michel and to Belfast via Rostrevor to collect Girlie and her Catholic friend Agnes from their 5-day convent Retreat. Took bike back to LK. Affectionate, non-squirty cuddles.

Wednesday 10th April

Visited local ancient sites and shore at Kilclief. Michel collected striated pebbles to take back [to his primary-school pupils in Lausanne]. Beautiful changing light. Took mushrooms, had cuddles by fire. Dinner of Florentinish eggs and potato-bread, baked apples and home-soured cream. Early to bed.

Thursday 11th April

To Belfast with Michel. Visited The Crown and left him at bus station. Stole £170-worth of Canon zoom lens, then zoomed home to unwind. Michel handsome and sweet, but vapid. No shared interests. "Not Pal Material"!

Sunday 14th April

Lovely day. Mattie and Girlie for walk and lunch of parsnips with olives, Mattie's cinnamony apple crumble. Very pleasant.

Monday 15th April

Hung about all day waiting for Damien Coyle to come and collect paintings. Large van (!) arrrived at 4 pm. Weather warmer.

Tuesday 16th April

To Belfast to hang exhibition at Crescent Centre. Made nice dinner at Clonlee. Onion and sweet-pepper tart with a 1978 Wine Society Mercurey (£8!). Opening of exhibition which looked well and drew favourable comment from those present, notably Jamshid Mirfenderesky and his painter-friend Ibrahim.

Wednesday 17th April

Supervised exhibition. Home to LK in evening.

Thursday 18th April

Warm sunny day. Seán supervised exhibition. Card from Michel.

Friday 19th April

Beautiful day. Blackthorn in bloom. Visited James Millar in Finaghy, thence to expo. Overnight at Clonlee Drive.

Sunday 21st April

To Queen's Film Theatre to see Maurice Pialat's A Nos Amours, featuring Purcell's A Cold Song.

Monday 22nd April

Up at 6.20 a.m. to take Mattie to airport. Thence to James Millar to photograph 220 of his drawings. Beautiful warm day. Two very nice people came to show, bought Field Guide & Cinema of the Blind.

Tuesday 23rd April

Car lost gear change on way home. AA couldn't fix. Took it gingerly to Tom Clarke in Belfast. Row with awful Damien Coyle at Crescent Centre. To LK on bike. Beautiful weather continues.

Wednesday 24th April

Back to Belfast. Collected car from Tom Clarke Motors. Supervised expo. V.few visitors. I won't show pictures again. Seán very cuddly and reassuring. Took down paintings and brought them home in car after very nice dinner with Girlie. Weather still bright and cold. Phone-call from Peter Rohsius in Hamburg to say he will arrive next week with his ParkinsonSuffering friend Jürgen!

Sunday 28th April

Up early to collect David [Price] from bus station. Missed him...drove to City Airport and back... Sharon [from 42 Clonlee Drive] had collected him! Wet and windy drive to LK. Sexy cuddles. Good lasagne dinner, followed by very sexy cuddles!

Monday 29th April

Temperature shot up, but very humid. Designed a logo for FoE. To Dptk to photocopy and post it. Visited Jim Manley [water-colour painter] and saw some very nice pictures. Cheesey cauliflower, salad, Ch.Reynon. apple crumble.

Friday 3rd May

Peter & Jürgen-with-Parkinson's arrived around lunchtime. Dinner of spicy cabbage with apricots etc. and millet. Apple strudel with pineapple. Slept with Peter by the fire. Very pleasant post-orgasm.

Saturday 4th May

To Giant's Ring in Peter's car, thence to Tropical Ravine. Picked up Tom Matthews and went to Holestone (Doagh) and Magheramorne. Dinner at Ciro's in Belfast

Sunday 5th May

Rainy. Mattie and Girlie for lunch, rain kept us indoors. David cleaned bike, I adjusted chain. Peter and David had ejaculatory cuddles, I had non-ejaculatory cuddles with Jürgen. Excellent dinner of spinach omelette with ham from Hamburg, roasted red peppers, potato-bread; rhubarb tart.

Monday 6th May

To Rowallane gardens. Left David off at airport. Met David Harrison [of whom I have no recollection] at The Crown. To LK. Dinner of Leek/tomato/potato pie. Sex with David H. and Peter very off-putting.

Tuesday 7th May

A warm, sunny day spent almost entirely in front garden among the shrubs. Salady dinner with new potatoes. Lovely cuddly non-ejaculatory night with sweet Jürgen, of whom I am very fond.

Wednesday 8th May

Jürgen and Peter off to North and North-West, taking David H. with them to Belfast. Spent relaxing day tidying up, writing letters, mowing grass...then to Belfast on bike to collect Celt Grant from Liverpool Boat. [I have no recollection of him, either!].

Thursday 9th May

A palpable mutual antipathy! I slept on my own after some dilatory caressing.In any case my sexual/sensual energy is somewhat drained. To Dundrum Castle.

Friday 10th May

Cold and overcast. Celt went off to Castleward and Strangford on foot for 4 hours. Nettle soup and cheesey cauliflower with mushrooms for dinner; apple crumble.

Saturday 11th May

Deposited Celt at Downpatrick bus station (for Belfast). Visited Francis Hooks at Finneston House psychiatric unit. Sowed courgettes and cucumbers in propagator.
Letters from Oregon, Sydney, Quebec, Galloway. Rheingold on Radio 3.

Sunday 12th May

Warm and sunny. Mattie and Girlie for lunch. P and J arrived around 9.30 pm Lovely triple cuddles then a sensual sonata with Peter – with assistance from Grass.

Monday 13th May

Dull day. To Castle Ward. Asti Spumante (!), spinach omelette, potato-bread, tomato salad. Article on Navan Fort printed in Fortnight. Wrote another: The Politics of Homosexuality – but I doubt that they'll print it. They are very uptight.
[In fact, not only did they not print it, but they fired me, too!]

Wednesday 15th May

Wet, windy, cold. P +J left, giving me 200 DM. My cock smells wonderful, as always after satisfying sex.

Saturday 25th May

Painted portrait of Jürgen. One of my best so far.

Saturday 27th July

Tom [Matthews, poet] arrived by bike - a 60-mile ride.

Sunday 28th July

A very nice day with Mattie and Girlie and Tom. With much trial and error, made a mayonnaise to accompany smoked mackereL (with cucumber, etc.)l for lunch. Raspberry shortcake from Mattie. Listel blanc de blancs. Picked gooseberries and strawberries.

Monday 29th July

Joan [Newmann, poet, and friend of Tom] didn't come because of a nipped nerve in her spine.

Tuesday 30th July

Tom biked home again to Magheramorne. Impressive.

Wednesday 31st July

Brian Robinson for dinner. Brought his new young, ginger friend William - who was witty and lovely and sexy, even without a beard. Excellent evening. It's strange how I always attract much younger men, even though I look for those my own age.

Thursday 1st August

Up at 8.40. To Belfast on bike. Taped Chopin Nocturnes at Eugene's. Visited Seán. Did a little shoplifting but bought a couple of Shure styli. Dinner with M+G at Clonlee Drive (blackcurrant rumble) then dashed off to see William in Ulsterville Avenue. Lovely big Victorian rented flat.

Friday 2nd August

Magnificent night of love and cuddles. Late breakfast. Excellent coffee. Rode home feeling wonderful. William is a treasure, and the best Irish 'love-experience' since Mark (of similar age). Phone-call from him in evening.

Saturday 3rd August

SERVAS members Dörte and Renate hitch-hiked from Balbriggan to Loughkeelan. They are very nice, intelligent, easy, relaxed. Wank-call from leather biker in Lyon!

Sunday 4th August

A dull wet day. M+G. Spinach crêpes and plum pie with Doisy-Daène. Renate and Dörte went to Castle Ward and Strangford & came back very wet after M+G left. A pleasant evening with music by the fire. Phone-call from William who is receiving a friend from England.

Wednesday 7th August

Painted portrait of handsome, grizzled Stan Daley [bare-chested, in old jeans held up with string, and his dog at his feet. This picture was bought by Belinda (Loftus) for the Downpatrick Arts Centre collection, which was taken over by Down County Museum, catalogued but unphotographed.. My requests for a photo produced the following letter:

Very cold and wet. Visited Jim Manley at Killough. He gave me a framed watercolour after offering a raspberry fruit salad and Grand-Marnier. William for dinner. Summer spinachy soup, baked singed aubergine gratin with bulghur, artichoke hearts (from garden) with mayonnaise, salad from garden, blackcurrant crumble and sour cream. A SPLENDID evening culminating in cuddles and ejaculations. W. very struck by my linocuts and metamorphotos. Am basking in rare praise.

Monday 12th August

Morning phone-call from Canadian André [whom I can't recall] at Belfast International Airport. Panic. Phoned Mattie, who generously, uncomplainingly collected him at Europa Bus Terminal and brought him to Loughkeelan while I organised myself to receive him...and William at 6 pm! Splendid meal of nettle soup, crêpes of fennel and tomato, smoked mackerel on watercress. Banana, rhubarb and gingerbread dessert. Delicious night with William. André slept off jet-lag in small bedroom.

Tuesday 13th August

Up early to see William off to work [at the Jacquard loom at the Folk Museum] in his Panda. De-iced fridge and was domestic until André rose at 10.30. A nice day...to Ballyhornan beach... Brian Robinson for dinner (nettle soup, cauliflower au gratin with roast parsnips).

Wednesday 14th August

André turns out to be pretty bad at love-making...but I managed to make him come well. A wet day, but it cleared sufficiently to allow a trip to Struell Wells and Ballynoe Stone Circle. Made mayonnaise for potato-dinner.

Thursday 15th August

Wet again in morning. Veg garden flooded. Took André on bike to Dundrum Castle, Wateresk dolmen, and through Mountains of Mourne, avoiding heavy showers. Made an excellent rhubarb crumble for dinner.

Friday 16th August

Brian R. arrived to ferry André to Belfast Central station for Dublin train. I followed later on bike. Shoplifted some bottles of Meursault and Krug Brut. A bottle of Meursault accompanied a good dinner chez William followed by a night of cummy-cuddles.

Saturday 17th August

Nice time with William. Stole more Krug Brut. With W. to see Brian R's new home. Krug in evening: magnificent. Another lovely meal and night of kisses, cuddles, exudations and squirts.

Sunday 18th August

William bought Sunday Papers! Croissants & coffee. I zoomed happily off to LK to make a lunch of courgettes and big horse-mushrooms [Agaricus campestris] found en route. Mattie and Girlie brought a plum tart.

Monday 19th August

Corrected proofs of Images of Lust, text much reduced (and silly maps added) by Jim Jerman to appeal to closet Batsford.

Tuesday 20th August

Puncture en route to Downpatrick. Had to change rear tyre (with help) because tube had been nipped. William for dinner of field-mushroom soup, chickweed omelette, potatoes mayonnaise, courgettes lightly boiled. Orgasmic blackcurrant crumble, followed by orgasmic frolics with W. He is deliciously subtle with my little hyper-sensitive nipples, rubbing his pre-cum on them with his delightful little cock.

Thursday 22nd August

Nice and wet for transplanting Myrtus bullata, Yucca gloriosa and Phlomis fr.

Friday 23rd August

William at 16.30. Splendid huggings, perineal ticklings, scrotum-squeezings and squirtings in front of fire after 4 puffs of county Down grass between us, with mouth-to-mouth exchange. Spinach and penne with egg on top; b'currant crumble.

Saturday 24th August

William is delicious to wake up to and breakfast with.

Monday 26th August

To William's for dinner: steak (!!!) in mushroom and cream sauce, pommes-de-terre Anna, home-made profiteroles. Then on to Jim Manley's private view at the Fenderesky gallery. Jamshid wants to buy The Virgin of Dromore. Tom Bevan and current tomboy-girlfriend Mary-Jo also there. Wonderful orgasmic overnight chez W. We have now advanced to sodomy, with me sitting on him and facing him while he worked away like the sewing-machine he was so good at using! That way we could also have the odd sip of champagne and maybe a nice nibble. Classy fun! Naturally, he likes to watch me come over his belly.

Tuesday 27th August

Stole another bottle of Krug from Winemark. (Haven't they noticed ? but it's a chain, so they wouldn't unless I was caught on a watched video.) Then on to Clonlee Drive: garden and greenhouse.

Wednesday 28th August

Painted portrait of William in silver and Protestant orange on cobalt background. [He liked it.]

Thursday 29th August

Yet another wet day. W. for dinner (auberginey bake, blackberry fool). Wonderful sex after a little smoke: I had several orgasms without ejaculation [a phenomenon which would continue for the next 30 years, when sex became excellently-onanistic, thanks to beardy-squirty porn videos].

Friday 30th August

Photography, then to beach. Souplunch before W. left. Handsome fox passed by in evening.

Saturday 31st August

To W's for dinner via Clonlee Drive and Brian R.'s. Stole yet another bottle of Krug! Then to the Edward Carpenter ['gay'] club which was depressing. Bad sex for me when we got back to W's– but for W. it's apparently always good.

Sunday 1st September

Croissanty breakfast, then on bike back to Loughkeelan for lunch with Mattie. (Girlie is in York.) Depressed and listless.

Monday 2nd September

Painted naked portrait of Frank Ainsworth in copper on dark wood. It's rather good. [I think I sold it to someone 30 years later. Unsatisfied with the face, I later changed it to one of my map-portraits]. Puncture on way to Downpatrick. Thank goodness for Tyreweld aerosol!

Thursday 5th September

Another puncture! Grit in tube ? or nipped ? More Tyreweld.
William, Joan + Kate Newmann (plus Lindy the dog) for dinner of buttermilk soup, courgettey-carrotty curry, tomato salad, baked parsnips, cumin-cucumber, rhubarb baba. A jolly evening though the Joan and Kate love-affair was a bit overpowering.

Friday 6th September

Mary-Jo from Crossgar arrived with revelations about [boyfriend] Tom Bevan. Stayed for good recycled left-over dinner, and overnight (for my reluctant cuddles only).

Sunday 8th September

Mattie and Girlie plus William for lunch. Delicious soup, mackerel + watercress again, plum crumble from Mattie. With William to Belfast and delicious erotic frolics.

Monday 9th September

Up at 6 a.m. then to Ballycastle in Panda and ferry in sunshine over calm water to Rathlin Island [which I saw so often in bracing 1950s summer holidays]. Rathlin a mixture of human squalor (dumps and car-graveyards) and natural beauty (Antrim coast), Scottish islands. Picnic dinner in guesthouse and more lovely spermy comminglings in uncomfortable bed

Tuesday 10th September

Pretty mean breakfast followed by lovely walk to East Lighthouse and cliffs. Took some pictures of rocks for metamorphotos, but couldn't locate sweathouse. Back to guesthouse, where we were under-charged, maybe because of mingey breakfast !

Julie/Rathlin-rock metamorphoto.

Back to Ballycastle and to Belfast via Tullaghora and Armoy Round Tower. Dinner (first course) chez William,
second course of almond-and-apricot pudding after a foggy drive to LK.

Wednesday 11th September

After a 'merely' cuddly, comfortable night, William drove home (50 miles or more) to his parents' farm at Drumagullion (near Stewartstown, county Tyrone). I pottered about.

Friday 13th September

To Belfast. Shoplifted 35-70 mm Canon lens. My old 50 mm lens on the old TX has got fungus in it again, presumably because of damp. To Arts Council Gallery. Saw Mary-Jo ! To William for a splendid Birthday Fuck (though he claims that I'm really fucking him with my vagina-like arsehole). Then on to Dromore on my own (by bike) for a pretty-heavy (not to say gross) chicken-dinner with Joan and Kate. Stayed overnight.

Saturday 14th September

Zoomed home via Belfast where I did a little light shoplifting at the trendy Arts Council Gallery shop. William brought a tape-machine to transfer Linguaphone Portuguese lessons. Then we went on the bike to Ballynoe Stone Circle. Good grassless mutual samplings and consummations, dinner, bed.

Sunday 15th September

Lovely day. Felt great because of the wonderful Whitmanesque adhesiveness of the moment. W. will go back to London in the New Year. Today he went off early to continue weaving his Special Piece for St Martin's at the Folk Museum.
Mattie and Girlie for lunch – very jolly.

Monday 16th September

Painted portrait of Willy the [Orange] Lily in my Bath – on top of 1983 portrait of Mark in the same LK bath.

[For several years I slowed down the electricity meter wheel because otherwise I would not have been able to pay the bill. All my poor friends and some eroto-pals (now beyond the pal) had baths when they visited. Eventually, of course, I was caught, but only had to pay a fine which was a fraction of what I had used, and which I could afford.]

Tuesday 17th September

Warm, sunny day. Brian R visited with a shy and sweet Irish-Canadian Colin who loved my paintings. Introduced him to affectionate delights. Felt great.

Friday 20th September

To Seaforde Nurseries: Passiflora antioquiensis and Ozothmnus ledifolius. On to Belfast to take Mattie to airport [in her car] for her holiday in Kyrenia. Joyous fuck and simultaneous ejaculations at William's : a splendid battle which we both won. Then together to Fenderesky Gallery where I received £80 for The Virgin of Dromore (portrait of Kate Newmann). Drove home (by car) in downpour.

Saturday 21st September

William at 1 pm. Transplanted Euonymus alata to bottom of lane. Meursault 1980 with dinner: too heavy. Excellent interpenetrating, wholesome, happy, hilarious (Whitmaseque ?) adhesion,

Sunday 22nd September

but woke up with a hang-over. We decide to drink less than a bottle between two. Went back to bed after W. left. Planted Photinia to replace Rhodo.Keysii. Made new metamorphotos with recent slides (Rathlin, lichens, etc.).

Tuesday 24th September

To Belfast. Replaced Cytisus canariensis in Clonlee greenhouse wih apricot Oleander. Planted Passiflora x antioquiensis. Girlie in good form. To Ulsterville Ave. for excellent dinner with (guess whom ?). Mary-Jo called round. More spiffing sex involving blind-tasting of pre-cums, followed by magic applications of the gently-oozing transparent liquid on nipples and cock-tips.

Wednesday 25th September

Rather bleary as usual after spiffing erotics and sleep with W. Two boys temporarily adhering !
Replaced Hydrangea villosa at Clonlee Drive with a lacecap Hydrangea. from William's extensive garden. [His nice Victorian/Edwardian rented ground-floor flat included yard and garden. House due for conversion into probably-sad flats when W's lease expires at end of December.] Visited Tom Bevan at Ballyalgan [Derryboye] to collect 8 mm ciné-camera. Planted H. villosa beside lane at LK [where it subsequently died of cold and wet].

Friday 27th September

Lovely warm day. To Fortnight offices and on to W's and another excellent dinner. Life as a middle-aged, permanently-unemployed homo is quite sybaritic at the moment!

Saturday 28th September

Foggy drive in Panda with William to 'his' Weaver's Cottage at Folk Museum. Enjoyed watching him at the loom. Must be 'in love'. Not a good idea.

Wednesday 2nd October

Very windy for the past 2 days. Visited Sean and Jeff [Dudgeon], then Splendid dinner at Ulsterville Avenue [nearby] : a gorgeous arrangement of vegetables demolished with great pleasure.

Thursday 3rd October

Whizzed home – and painted portrait of Jean Genet with his cock hanging out, pissing blood on the quay at Quillebeuf-sur-Seine (at night) with background of power station across the river : Notre-Dame des Enfers. [I now – 2023 – live at the top of Hell Street - rue de L'Ifernet - in Caylus!]

Friday 4th October

Failed yet again to pick up Mattie at airport. [With her car. This was 20 years before cell-phones became common...and I still refuse to have one]. She was on a later flight and I didn't stick around [though, obviously, I should have]. Dinner with W. and lovely cuddly night. [This is getting more and more like Diary of a Nobody.]

Saturday 5th October

To Folk Museum again with W. On way home stopped off at Ballyalgan to look for secret M-plants, but failed to find them. Didn't proceed up lane to visit Tom.

Sunday 6th October

Wind finally abated after a week! Warmer and sunnier.. M+G for lunch and a pleasant afternoon

Saturday 12th October

Made about 50 new metamorphotos. [About 12 of them were good.]

[Lots more food and squirty cuddles with William. A lovely Sunday with M+G at LK]

Monday 21st October

Picked up SERVAS member Robert (queer American) at bus station in Downpatrick with only an hour's notice by phone from Belfast of his arrival from Dublin. As often with these Blind Dates by post, sadly different from how he presented himself. [Probably he thought the same about me, as well as finding my 'life-style' primitive or challenging. I have absolutely no recollection of him.]

Tuesday 22nd October

Robert went on foot to Castle Ward while I made improvements to a portrait of William.

Wednesday 23rd October

Robert declined to help me saw a few bits of wood for the fire, so I declined to let him stay another night. Wrote to Servas, asking for my name to be removed from their list. Took Robert to Dptk on back of bike and zoomed on up to Ulsterville Ave., Belfast, for an excellent Krug-enhanced dinner and The Best Sex Of My Life.

Thursday 24th October

Visited 'The Otters' [who, briefly, had an art-gallery in Belfast before they escaped the Inland Revenue and opened another, briefly, at Glasnevin in Dublin. A very friendly queer couple; Felix, the sexier one was Spanish]. They were very enthusiastic about my paintings as well as metamophotos, and promised a show in the Spring.
Dismal dinner with William at Brian Robinson's, but a gorgeous, loving, cuddly night chez William afterwards.

Friday 25th October

Splendid morning interpenetration.

Wednesday 30th October

Finished off a couple of articles for Fortnight. Beautiful weather. William arrived in afternoon with his friend-from-London Guy. [Don't remember him at all.] We had a lovely time picking Psilocybe semilanceata in Barney's [chemical-free] field. We all were pleasantly, lightly stoned. A slightly spacey evening, very little willy-play, but a very cuddly night 'was had by all', a triumvirate.

Thursday 31st October

Sewed deep, bright black duvet-cover on William's electrifying electric machine.

Friday 1st November

Cold but splendid morning...ro Belfast...coffee and very nice cake at Fortnight. Excellent dinner and MEGAFUCK followed by kissy-cuddly night with W.

Saturday 2nd November

Beautiful morning...composed some more [in-camera] metamorphotos at Folk Museum while William wove. Cold ride home.

Sunday 3rd November

Mattie's birthday (1970). She arrived for lunch at 1 pm...Mr Megafuck arrived at 2 for champagne lunchette, and stayed overnight for the usual ludic, homosensual ecstasies.

Saturday 9th November

Magnificent breakfast with W., who went off to Folk Museum while I visited Felix at the bottom of Wellington Park. A little light shoplifting. Beggar's Opera and Dreigroschenoper at Queen's Film Theatre. Grassy cuddles.

Sunday 10th November

Rode home to prepare and provide lunch for M+G.

Monday 11th November

Brought a splendid dinner for W and me to Belfast. Late-evening Belfestival concert of orgasmic Brahms and Ravel trios. No cuddles...until after breakfast on

Thursday 14th November

Sent off another slide-film of metamorphotos. RSC's Happy End at Maysfield Leisure Centre. Cuddly night.

Sunday 17th November

To William's with Mattie and Girlie for lunch.Splendid salad, multi-fish-stew (Atlantic Bouillabaisse ?), profiteroles. Concert at Elmwood Hall, where Peter Donohoe murdered Chopin's Ballades. (Only Poles and Russians can play Chopin properly). Mussels with beer and garlic in front of fire. The most amazing sex yet.

Sunday 24th November

Bright and cold. M+G for lunch. Read Alice Neel book [which I had ordered and actually bought from the University Bookshop earlier in the week], pottered about, picked nettles and spinach.

Monday 25th November

Made nettle soup, crêpes to be stuffed with fennel and tomatoes, sprouts+walnuts, for William and The Otters and a friend for dinner. Smoked mackerel on watercress with radishes. Slightly sweet Vinho Verde; acceptable Marquès de Murrieta. Much enthusiasm for my artwork. [In fact this was the only such enthusiasm until 2023 in Caylus.] Delicious squirty cuddles in night, with blind tastings of precums.

Tuesday 26th November

William went off to sign on [as unemployed] in Belfast. I followed on bike, stayed afternoon at Clonlee Drive. Party at Fortnight. Excellent food and surprisingly enjoyable for one who is rather scared of stranger-peopled parties.

Wednesday 27th November

Helped W. with fabric designs. Visited Felix. To Downpatrick where I went to see Francis who is back again in the deeply-depressing [but architecturally rather fine, Victorian] DownshireLoony-bin. Rode home. Letter from Nicholas Treadwell [saying what ?].

December 1985

I have bad Decembers. [Relationship with William (and my almost year-long High) wound down and then stopped after he moved back to London and St Martin's School of Art.]

My pocket-diaries continued until the much-trumpeted millennium.
I wrote thought-journals from 1987 to 1990.
The new century brought the internet and my websites.