5. GOD'S CALLING ~ alternative version by Anthony Weir

"We can't keep putting it off," said God.

Gabriel leant forward in the new, leatherette, end-of-line director's chair and looked stricken.
God didn't look up from his paperwork.

"You think we're ready for this ? It was you who asked for the last extension."
"I know. I like a quiet life." He flicked listlessly through the papers on his knee.
He was glad he'd pushed for the increase in budget for the new office furniture - but maybe God had a point: up the comfort level and you up the snooze level. God had stuck with the tatty, orange, plastic seat that had migrated from the canteen æons ago. Probably a good idea in the circumstances.

"We've sorted out the car-park in front of the Wing Replacement Unit, but I'm not sure it will be able to take the wear and tear."
God looked up. "He is long overdue. People just adore him down there. Why not let him stay forever ? I'm told he has a great sense of humour."

Gabriel winced.
He doodled idly around the title at the top of his sheet - he turned the P into a daisy and drew little stars all around it. God drummed his fingers on his desk.
"I guess it's time," God announced decisively.
"I'm sure we don't have enough tarmac up here!" Gabriel retorted desperately, before storming out of the office.

And so the most famous Pole since Paderewski finally went to Heaven.

(with apologies to Emma Whitehead)