GOD'S CALLING ~ alternative version
by Anthony Weir
"We can't keep putting it off," said God.
Gabriel leant forward
in the new, leatherette, end-of-line director's chair and looked stricken.
God didn't look up from his paperwork.
"You think we're
ready for this ? It was you who asked for the last extension."
"I know. I like a quiet life." He flicked listlessly through
the papers on his knee.
He was glad he'd pushed for the increase in budget for the new office
furniture - but maybe God had a point: up the comfort level and you
up the snooze level. God had stuck with the tatty, orange, plastic seat
that had migrated from the canteen æons ago. Probably a good idea
in the circumstances.
"We've sorted out
the car-park in front of the Wing Replacement Unit, but I'm not sure
it will be able to take the wear and tear."
God looked up. "He is long overdue. People just adore him down
there. Why not let him stay forever ? I'm told he has a great sense
He doodled idly around the title at the top of his sheet - he turned
the P into a daisy and drew little stars all around it. God drummed
his fingers on his desk.
"I guess it's time," God announced decisively.
"I'm sure we don't have enough tarmac up here!" Gabriel retorted
desperately, before storming out of the office.
And so the most famous
Pole since Paderewski finally went to Heaven.
(with apologies to Emma Whitehead)